10 Things I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t

OPM columnist John Scalzi posted an entry on his personal blog where he invited readers to list 10 things they’ve done that most people haven’t. It sounded like a fun idea, and responding reminded me I’ve had an oddly interesting life. So here are my 10; feel free to add your own in comments or on your own blog! (If you do put it on your own blog, leave me a message to that effect in comments, ok?)

1. Headlined a punk rock show in a Masonic temple in Trenton, New Jersey. The opening band was a very young Less Than Jake, followed by a surprise appearance by Bobby Steele (formerly of the Misfits) and his band the Undead, who performed a 3-song set on our equipment. Their closing song was a freakin’ incredible rendition of “Last Caress” (which Steele wrote but Glenn Danzig stole and copyrighted under his own name) in which Steele paused before the final verse and slyly commented, “Often imitated, never duplicated.” \m/ Continue reading “10 Things I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t”

If Airlines Ruled the World

Dear Valued Amazon Customer,

We regret to inform you that your order for Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace cannot be fulfilled at this time due to product unavailability. It is the policy of Amazon to sell more copies of our books than we have in stock, on the chance that earlier orders may be cancelled. Unfortunately we have drastically underestimated demand for this title.

We do value your business, thus we will be sending you an only very slightly used copy of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment instead. It will be arriving in four to six weeks. We understand that your original order was due to be shipped in three days, and that your replacement title has a significantly lower retail price, and we regret that we are not able to offer any refund or adjustment to your payment. We remind you that these policies are clearly outlined in our Terms of Service (which you may obtain by sending in a self-addressed, stamped envelope to our corporate office).

As always, we thank you for shopping with us, and we look forward to your continued business.

Amazon Customer Service Continue reading “If Airlines Ruled the World”